Now that I'm going into 2012, I have time today to think about this past year. I couldn't have rolled through it without certain key people. So who and what am I thankful for going into 2012?
- First off, my marriage. In March, my husband and I will celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary, and I love him more than the day I married him. He has stood by my side throughout this "medication ordeal", and all while putting me on a pedestal. He acknowledges my strength on a daily basis, and he brings optimism when it's needed most. He's the most positive person I know, and anyone would be fortunate to have a friend like him. I feel very blessed to have met him years ago as I backpacked across Europe. As I like to call him, "My biggest (and best) souvenir".
- My daughter. She might only be 8 years old, but there's an old soul in that body of hers. She has more empathy than most adults I know. She has written me dozens of notes and drawn picture after picture to cheer me up. She looks at me and says, "I think somebody needs a hug". She is honest and completely in touch with her emotions. She is the child that cries in front of her friends with no apologies. It's ok to cry in this house. It's not a sign of weakness, and she knows this. I love her to bits and she has helped in ways I'm not sure she's aware of.
- My parents. No one could ask for 2 more supportive parents. They have taken umpteen 2am phone calls with me in a panic at the other end...staying on the line so I could run to the washroom to dry heave or "explode" with nerves. They have given me praise when I feel like a loser. They are there the moment you need them. I am proud they are my parents, and I'll never get enough of my mom's calmness and strength, and my dad's beaming grin.
- My friends...have been wonderful. I know they don't all understand what these meds have done to me. I'm sure they haven't all scoured the internet to find out what is going on with me. I don't ask them to! But if I need to cry, they listen. If I apologize, they tell me, "don't be silly!". I have childhood friends from grade school, and I have friends I've made through my daughter...my "school moms" I call them. Not one person has treated me differently through this. I think us as humans, don't always give others enough credit. If WE are open and honest about our feelings and emotions, than others will be more inclined to open up themselves. People worry too much about what others will think. I am human, and I DO worry about what others think, but it doesn't stop me from being honest. Honesty has been a key contributor to my success this year. And I think honesty is contagious. So make sure to open up...put some faith into your friends...you may be pleasantly surprised.
- My new mind...I think more clearly. I am able to keep this blog going and it has been so incredibly therapeutic to me. I have received feedback from those who read it and have benefited from it. I can't imagine going through all that happened this past year without the internet. To be able to have hundreds of people in a similar position as myself at the tips of my fingertips is incredible. There are SO many resources out there for those who are suffering mental illness OR illness caused by psychotropic medications. It's just a matter of putting on the computer and doing a little research. I am so thankful to have these resources while going through this. I have been able to educate my doctors based on what my husband and I have researched.
All the best to each and every one of you this New Year. May it bring, health, happiness and contentment. Wishing you all a wonderful year of rebirth and enlightenment. And a year full of self-love. And don't forget to smile...